Day 3: Wednesday

I had work today in the evening. As a waitress, dealing with unpleasant people and situations is inevitable and expected. As a service worker, we have to be extra careful to hide our disdain and whatever reaction we may have towards whatever behavior we normally would not tolerate outside of our jobs. This many times results in the release of our anger and reactions behind the customer’s back to other waitstaff through a lot of employee gossip and bitching about whatever table gave an attitude about their napkins not being prompt enough. It isn’t the healthiest behavior, but regardless, everybody does it. It is almost like an unwritten part of the job description. But there had to be a way to overcome as much negative feeling, any form of bitching, and ill feeling as much as possible, so I figured there had to be mindfulness involved.

Before work, I decided I would look at things from the customer’s perspective more often (after all they paid money for their meal and service, and nobody likes to waste money, especially me), I would take things less personally, and I would try to accept circumstances and move on more easily.

For the most part, the evening was quite slow and I didn’t have more than 2 tables at once. This made it very easy and by far one of the least stressful shifts I have ever worked. There was no challenge at all in giving good service and making customers happy. I was almost wishing there was more action and tables. However, the stagnant activity allowed me to focus more exclusively on practicing my mindfulness and allowing me to stay conscious of my thoughts, feelings, and attitude. It also allowed me to be more attentive to my customers and predict and cater to their needs better and quicker.  Probably as a result of that, all of the customers were very patient, pleasant, and left nice tips. Even though I wasn’t confronted with any negative situations that would test my mindfulness, I was able to employ my mindfulness in other ways.

There was this one old guy that kept eating a piece of chicken and spitting it back into his plate. I observed this behavior several times as I looked at his table checking to see if there were any plates I needed to take.  I thought it was kind of strange and I usually try my best not to be judgmental, but this guy raised my eyebrows a bit. When I finally went over to give him the check and collect his plate, he protested and quickly took a napkin and started to pick the meat pieces off his plate and into the napkin. I stood there watching with a pleasant expression on my face.  The fact that his wife glanced at me caused me to smile wider. Then the old man said that they were “dog scraps”. I nodded and said “Absolutely”.  After the wife laughed, I started to laugh as well. It was kind of strange, but funny and I reminded myself to take into account the situations of other people and not to reach conclusions too quickly. For all I knew, he could have had a toothless dog who liked to eat chicken and the only way the dog could eat it was if it was in small moist pieces. I really don’t know, don’t ask me. Anything is possible.

Besides dealing with customers, dealing with bosses is another situation. My boss is sometimes disrespectful in how he speaks to and approaches his employees, and the way he handles certain situations could be deemed a bit unprofessional. I find that he can often times be domineering, but also warm and welcoming in that weird way of his,  where he isn’t completely warm and comfortable with being warm, but you can definitely tell he is trying. I know that his sometimes unpleasant characteristics can be partly attributed to his personality, but I’ve realized that maybe I should start looking at things from his perspective. Having just opened his restaurant only about a month and a half ago, he is striving to maintain his business and profits, and the first few months are always the most crucial in any small business.  I understand that he might be under a lot of stress, and the fact that he works 13 hours almost seven days a week at his restaurant does not do a lot to alleviate this stress. In addition, the waitstaff is predominantly new and because he wants everything to work out, he feels he must obtain the best performance from us by constantly keeping us on our toes and pointing out all of the little things that we do wrong in the hopes of trying to correct us before we form them as long-term habits. I understand his approach and how he is trying to make the service the best it can be and improve his business. However, I do think that there are a few things he should do to acknowledge some of our good attributes and work skills as well, instead of constantly only focusing on the negative. Perhaps that would create a slightly better work environment than it has been and allow the waitresses especially to feel a little more comfortable coming to him with their concerns, instead of only his wife, who is the co-owner. I’ve been trying to figure out his psyche ever since I started working, and now that I know him better and have tried to see things from his perspective, I can approach him and begin to communicate with him more effectively.